I can’t find the post but it said something like “biphobia will have bi women believe that society wants them to be lesbians, and lesbophobia will have lesbians believe that society wants them to be bi, but the truth is society doesn’t want you to be bi or lesbian. they want you to be straight” or something like that. I saw it for the first time years ago and it’s stuck with me because this mindset will genuinely resolve so much of queer infighting.
Allosexual queer people will believe that society wants them to be ace and aces will believe that society wants them to be allosexual queers, and the truth is society wants you to be allosexual but only sexually attracted to the right gender in the right way.
Trans men will believe that society wants them to be nonbinary, and nonbinary people will believe that society wants them to be binary trans, and the truth is society wants you to be cis.
And the thing is, there’s some truth to “I would be more accepted if I was [this queer identity] instead of [that queer identity],” because there are groups of people who will want you to be a different queer identity. There are people who want their lesbian daughters to be bi because then they have a chance of marrying a man. There are allosexual gays who want to be ace because at least then they wouldn’t be sexually attracted to their own gender, which is dirty and gross and wrong. There are people who want their trans male friends to be nonbinary because they think men are all evil.
Except there are also people who would rather bi women be lesbians because dating men makes them a traitor to the queer community, or aces who want to be allosexual and gay because if they can’t be attracted to the opposite gender at least they’ll be attracted to someone, and people who want their nonbinary friends to be binary trans because nonbinary people are made up and stealing resources.
Society at large doesn’t want you to be any queer identity. They have a very narrow idea of what you should be, and so many ideas and rules telling you what you shouldn’t be. And sometimes, people unlearn some of those rules but not others, depending on who they’re around while forming these opinions. Some people will unlearn exorsexism but still drink the “men are evil” juice. Some people will unlearn homophobia but not amatonormativity.
So, sometimes queer people say things like “People would accept me more if I was [different queer identity].” And sure, some people would accept you more if you were that other identity. Except some people would accept you less. Maybe your parents would accept you more if you were bi instead of lesbian, but your friends would say being bi makes you a traitor.
And in the end, it doesn’t matter, because there’s way to win. “More accepted” is a very relative term. More accepted by some people, sure, but you won’t be really be accepted unless you’re not queer.
This is really really true. I’m saving this and keeping it to read for all the times *I* catch myself feeling this way, and sharing it because it’s something pretty much every LGTBQIA+ person could do with internalising.
whenever you think of a meal you’d like to make, take 3 seconds to google search it, take a screenshot of the image results, and put it in a “food ideas” folder. instant visual menu!
if you’re on instagram, there are a bajillion different recipe accounts that post videos! a few of my favorites: jipsoon_kitchen, eatwitzo, cordandthekitchen, chungeats, tiffy.cooks, two_plaid_aprons
This is all great!
I got this website from a nutritionist and it’s become my absolute favorite way to find new recipes. The search filter options are fantastic! Sorting by method really helps me because I think that’s what makes the biggest difference in how much energy you need.
And here are some other ideas for low/medium energy meals:
Cottage cheese with crackers, fruits and/or veggies.
Guacamole with veggies and/or tortilla chips
Chickpeas/garbanzo beans with tzatziki. You could add rice, lettuce/spinach, and/or pita.
Buffalo cauliflower with yogurt dip. You can roast or microwave the cauliflower, top it with hot sauce, and add bleu cheese or shredded cheddar on top.
thinking about all the “small” art that’s ever existed. songs that were only ever sung in one village. stories written by children that got lost in the shuffle. personal paintings that didn’t survive the test of time. how they affected the lives of just a few, but still existed, still mattered to someone.
this is not a sad post!!!! this is a celebration!!!!! art is part of the human condition!!!!!!! we were born to create and share!!!!!!!!!!!
